Photograph

We keep this love in this photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Our hearts were never broken
Times forever frozen still

 Photograph - Ed Sheeran

It's midnight and I'm back in your hometown.


It's not very far from my house, but it feels like a totally different world. I'm driving down these streets with the windows rolled down, listening to the kind of music you use to hate. I can smell the ocean that's been carried by the warm breeze tonight, almost as if this quiet town is trying to force your memory into my mind. What it doesn't know, is that I came here so I could remember you. It doesn't need to push your memory into my brain. I'm welcoming it in, because I want to miss you tonight.

 Tonight I want to remember what it was like the first night you ever came to my house. You came by to play video games with my brother, but we both knew that you only agreed to it because you wanted to see me. It was the first time I ever sat around to watch boys play video games, and the only reason I did it was so I could stare at you the whole time. As I watched you pull out of the drive that night, I somehow knew that you were going to become a part of me. A very big part.


Tonight I want to remember that day on the beach when you finally asked me to be your girlfriend. It was sunset and we were supposed to be at a church picnic, but we snuck off by ourselves like we often did (and like we did many times after). You brought me out in the water and picked me up and I wrapped my legs around you. I remember we were laughing and kissing; wet salty kisses with your big soft lips that use to envelop mine. We talked and talked and talked; I couldn't tell you what about anymore. I don't even think it really matters. All that mattered was your skin against mine and the way you were looking at me. You finally leaned in close and whispered "Will you be my girlfriend?". That is still one of my fondest memories. I couldn't say yes enough.

Tonight I want to remember what it felt like to be effortlessly in love. Back when life was simple, and the most complicated factor in our relationship was trying to figure out what your high school schedule was, so I knew when I would be getting a text from you during the day. I remember the days and the nights where I never questioned how much you liked me or how much you loved me. Like that was just a given because I trusted you so much, and you still hadn't given me a reason to not.

I need to remember you tonight because if I don't, I might not ever remember what it was like and I might not ever find it again.

So I'll drive by your house, just so I can feel your arms wrapped around me, laying on the floor of your living room watching Netflix and fooling around. I'll walk down this street so I can smell your cologne and hear you tell me about your dreams. I'll sit in my car and cry just so I can feel something again.

Because tonight I want to miss you.