Sixteen Candles

Ugh.




Dude (is it okay if I call you "dude"?), I miss being kissed. I mean, really kissed. The kind of kissing that you can feel pulse through your entire body. The kind that you never want to end. I miss that.

The last time I remember that feeling (not the forced kind, not a moment made up in my head) was sixteen year-old me. I was deathly in love with a boy. He was perfect. We were laying in bed just laughing. I was teasing him and trying to make him so uncomfortable (I believe I was teasing him about his parents sex life - don't ask. I was a weird kid). He was such a good sport and we were laughing so hard my stomach was hurting (that may have also been my jitters). We kept flip-flopping between giggling and kissing. It was one of the happiest and most tumultuous moments of my youth (admittedly, I'm still in my youth, but I often don't feel like it).

I am now almost twenty and I have not had a single moment akin to that one. I've had one boyfriend and two guys that I've dated since then, and I haven't had, not one moment that even came close to measuring up. I, for one, am so sick of waiting for the right person to come along. I realize that I am very young and considerably impatient but once you've experienced the kind of love that I have, you crave it. I want it back. If I could rewind time and go back to sixteen I would. Even if it was only to re-experience that same fleeting moment all over again.

I'm not even really sure how to end this post. This moment and this feeling hasn't quite been sown up yet. So I think I'll just leave it at that. I'll let you know if there are any updates in the future.