Demon Blood

I'm so god damn normal when I'm not hormonal!



I think there are plenty of women out there who can totally go there with me. My PMS last ten fucking days and I feel like my entire world is falling apart. I gain weight, I cry, I laugh, I become gratuitously hungry and gratuitously tired, at one point I hate my life and want to die and the next minute I'm horny as shit.


Hormones are a roller-coaster from Hell that you don't ask to get on, and don't get a choice to get off until you wake up one morning with blood dripping down your leg. And I know, I know no one wants to hear that. But guess what, that's truth and that's life right there.  And it's socially unacceptable to talk about because everyone thinks it's so gross. But why is that particularly more gross than any other kind of bodily fluid? We go to blood drives and have people stick needles in us so that we can take the exact same blood out of us that comes out of my hoo-ha every month.

So, guess who's going on birth control so that she can attempt a normal life again? THIS GIRL.


The idea of not becoming clinically depressed for ten days every month sounds like a life changing event. At one point, my mother even considered the idea that I might be slightly manic.. That's how bad it's been people! No wonder I'm single!!

Would you want to put up with a manic depressive girl no matter how badly you want to motor boat her double d's? I think not. It's more trouble than it's actually worth.

So here's to the potential of joining the league of normal human beings again.

Cheers!