My great love lives in Spain
For the first month that we spoke I had him listed as "Marine" in my phone so that I could tell the difference between his texts and the texts from two of my exes (they all have the same name - apparently I have thing).
I,
as you can probably guess, met this poor guy on Tinder. He lives near
me, but he's in the Marine Corps so he actually lived in North Carolina
and was only home for 4th of July. At the time I was mixed up with an
older guy that I had an all encompassing crush on. In fact, that same
guy left me lonely and sad on the 4th...enter Marine from Tinder.
He
was cute, but he looked like a kid to me. I thought I was so evolved
because all of a sudden, older guys were starting to pay attention to me
(Tinder will do that to you). In reality, he was twenty-one, which was a
year older than me. He flirted with me and I flirted back. He wanted me
to let him come over, and now I really wish I had. I spent that night
making dinner for just myself, and watching fireworks in my back yard
all alone because I wanted the other guy to like me ( I can tell you
now, that did not work out).
We
have been talking non-stop for three months. We were just supposed to
be friends. I thought he was a kid and it was nice having someone to
talk to between my conquests, but somewhere in there I completely fell
in love with him. I don't even know how it could have happened because
we've been bro's this whole time, and I didn't think it was possible for
me to develop feelings for him. But somewhere between his asshole
moments of telling me the gross things guys think about girls, and his
ex girlfriend problems, and his drunk texts, I fell in love with that
idiot. And I'm not even sure he feels the same way or ever will. He
hasn't expressed any kind of real feelings toward me, and I don't want
to be that girl who continues to pursue a guy even though he makes it quite clear that he "doesn't want a relationship".
But
every single day that we've spoken I have been completely and totally
me, and he still texts me the next day. He has made me smile more than
anyone ever has, and he's never intimidated by my personality.
I
have thoughts about him coming home from Spain and me meeting him in
the airport and running up and hugging him. I have full on made a
rom-com scene in my head, and that can only mean one thing: it will
never work out the way that I want it to.
My great love lives in Spain, but...
I don't think he will ever love me..
Goodnight my marine
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